Fellowship in the Hurt

Right this moment, I personally know of folks dealing with the loss of employment, divorce, the loss of siblings, the premature birth of a baby and ensuing health complications, recovery from back surgery, the constant fear of losing loved ones abroad amidst geopolitical conflict that seems to get worse each day, and the long slow economic and emotional recovery following a natural disaster.

Everyone is dealing with something, and this is one of those times when it can feel overwhelming to conjure up the power to believe in a greater purpose, trust a higher power, and to pray.

But I pray for us humans.

Everyday I see someone do something rude or thoughtless or short-minded or mean-spirited or just plain wrong. People are not at their best.

All the more reason to dig deeper in humanity. If we are made in God’s image then we must look in the mirror at times like these. We must see past the veneer of class and ego and status to reveal the spiritual beings we truly are masked (or protected by) this bodily shell that is temporary in the universal sense of time but enduring enough to give us a sense of self that feels permanent.

I struggle with my own ambition. My own desire for more. I’ve worked hard to remove the burden of financial accumulation from my daily striving but what has been left is a deep desire for the kind of purpose and meaning that transcends a budget, a resume, a profession. Something of a legacy.

But I redirect my efforts and my focus to the now. For nearly 40 years, I lived in the future. If I make this happen then this…once I do this, then that…in a few years I want to be able to…I lived in the future for so long that I almost died when that near certain future met its match in my present reality.

I was saved. By friends. The actual kind not the social one. This season of hardship, of forbearance, of collective and individual grief has yielded in me a new understanding of what friendship is really about. I’ve pruned out the kind of ephemeral, surface connection that I spent so many of my future-oriented years materializing. What has remained is the kind of kinship that my spirit recognizes long before my ego has a chance to interrupt the process of genuine connection with its own aims for instant or near-term gratification.

My friends are human. I see them at their soul level and it has instigated a type of introspective study that has sharpened my discernment for bullshit. I have no time for bullshit. Not even my own.

There are too many humans I care about hurting. I must grow into the kind of human who doesn’t think I can prevent this hurt but the kind of human who leaves space to find fellowship in the hurt.